In His Element

It is a cold wintery day, the kind of cold that makes the air snap with crystal clear whispers. The sun is bright, the snow stiff and the sky blue. Here he comes with much less gear than I'd dare go out in, topped with a black windbreaking North Face top, swishing down the hill. If he had hair, it would be blowing but instead I see his movements by the knee bends and the snow tails appearing side to side. Tips down, body forward, the gentle up and down of the telemark style takes him down the hill towards me.From behind the glass in the warmth and through the frosty window, what I see is peace.

Foiled by the Murano Glass Guy

As the mother of a 10 (going on 14) year old daughter, I am always on the look out for teachable moments. As a person who gets crazy when she feels like she is being nickel and dimed to death, teachable moments abound at the mall.

I had about reached my limit the other day. "Yes, we can get schools supplies today." "No, you don't need another Build-A-Bear." "No, not that. Not now, not ever." "Too early in the season for this." "Get a job if you want to dress like that."

It's about choices kid.

And with this, we headed to the pretzel place to get a snack <and spend my last bills in my wallet> and about tripped over the Murano glass table in the middle of the walkway. Lo and behold, it was covered with glass replicas of the kid's one downfall: peace signs. I muttered under my breath as the kid was quickly drawn to the table with me <and my wallet> in tow.

"Just one peace sign, Mom?"

"No."

"Look, it's only $5.00."

"You have over 100 peace signs at home already <I embellish when I am agitated>. Put it down and let's get moving."

"But I don't have this black and white one."

"And you won't be getting the black and white one today. I am done spending money on stuff." 

Under please, pleas, pursed lips and pouts, we headed for the pretzel place. The kid kicked into negotiation gear while waiting in line to place her pretzel bite order. I engaged <my first mistake> and she ended up trading her pretzel bites and lemonade for a peace sign necklace. 

We left with one pretzel - mine - and headed back to the Murano glass guy.

With open hands and a cheeky smile the Murano glass guy greeted us with an all to knowing, "I knew she'd be back!" Just so everyone was clear that I didn't buckle but taught the kid a valuable lesson about choices, I made sure he was aware that she traded her pretzel for a necklace. <My second mistake.>

We completed the transaction and started to leave when the Murano glass guy started to say something I did not understand so we turned back around. You'll never guess what he said.

"I want to buy a pretzel for the little girl." 

"You want to do what? Why would you want to do that?" (I am trying to teach a lesson here, remember.)

"She gave up her pretzel buy something from me, now I want to buy her a pretzel. "

"Not necessary. Thank you."

"But I must. You must let me do this for you."

Not at all seeing how this would help me, I buckled anyway. As I did, I thought I saw the the oh-so-subtle power of balance is shift away from me but my view was blocked by generosity, kindness and an ear to ear grin. 

Picking battles, teaching lessons, learning to laugh at how things turn out . . . it's about choices. 

Elementary School Graduation

The kid was super excited. Waking up an hour early, asking to take a shower in the morning and ready to run out the door with very little prodding - I almost did not recognize her.

What was it that got her going? Elementary school graduation.

After turning in her library books, cleaning out her locker and desk, accumulating over 500 Accelerated Reader points and bidding adieu to her cohorts in crime on student council, battle of the books, geography bee and math, there was on last thing for the kid to do before officially finishing up 4th grade and closing the chapter on elementary school. Graduate. 

Graduation ceremony for 4th grade?

Yup, and there was more than enough pride, accomplishment, support and vision to fill the gymnasium. It was wonderful. As a parent, I figured the ceremony was done for me but after seeing the excitement in my daughter's eyes reflected in the clapping, tears, wOOts, and hugs of every other 4th grader at the school, I realized it was not.

This was for the kids and we were fortunate to have been granted the privilege of watching.

 

  

 

It was just yesterday when we gathered at the daycare center to send her off to kindergarten to enter the elementary school doors for the first time. Flash forward 5 years later as she walks out of the elementary school doors for the last time.

Heading into summer, I think about the fall and those first few days of middle school. I am nervous but know that'll be tempered by the kid's excitement, attitude, confidence and strength. She'll shine and because of her, I will too.

Double Digit Diva

The kid is anything but a diva but she is everything that is double digits.

Leaving the single digits in the dust last week, she welcomed 10 years of age with fizzing whizbees, pumpkin juice, rock cakes and everything Harry Potter, right down to earthworm flavored Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans (bleh!)   

         

  

Wow. Where did the time go? Memories of the first night in the hospital, first steps, angel sightings, and the first time she "broke the code" and started to read.  

There was the first plane ride, the hotel with a flat screen in the bathroom (we've got to get this for our house, Mom), best friends, next door big sister, Minnesota grandmother, dance class, karate and guitar. Grade school, middle school, high school and then . . .

The adventure has only just began, yet I know it will be over before I am ready.

May there always be sunshine, may there always be blue skies, may there always be us, may there always be you.

Happy birthday little beauty.

Why Would You Put Your Kid's Face On a Blog?

I attended the Minnesota Bloggers Conference a few weeks ago. Many of the attendees blogged about their children or very personal subjects and the topic of privacy was a point of discussion throughout the day.

Privacy is a tough issue.

I  recall talking to a neighbor about my kid going to daycare because I worked. I was feeling guilty and wondering if I was a "good" mom. What she said to me then still sticks with me now. She said, "good moms find good day care."

It's all about the choices we make.

Social media is here to stay. This "online world" was unknown to me 4-5 years ago. And I was a bit afraid. I knew that me being afraid of a world that I would have to guide my daughter through was unacceptable and would have to change. 

I chose to immerse myself in social media.

A matter of paramount importance to me throughtout has been privacy. Privacy for myself is one thing and privacy for my daughter, Tarah, is another. Tarah is digitally distinct - not because of anything she's done, but because of things I've done.

I chose to expose my daughter to social media and to include her (and her face) in it.

Why would a parent put a child's face on a blog, school pictures on Facebook, or buy her her own domain? Why not? And I ask that not flippantly or throwing caution to the wind. Really, why not?

The "why not" for us is that it is one thing to be uniformed and afraid - it is another to be informed and aware. We, as a family,  choose to be informed and aware. We are maneuvering through the web, the tools, and the changes carefully, thoughtfully and in a way that we feel is right for our family.

This may not be right for you. And that's ok. It don't agree with the clothes you let your daughter wear or the way you let her talk  back to you, or the way you let your son skateboard through town on his own when he should be in bed or . . . but I digress. 

We are not all going to agree on privacy, nor should we. What matters is that we, as parents, are making the choices that we feel are right for our family.

It's about choice. Privacy is personal. Only you can decide.