Halloween is such a great time of year. The costumes, the fun, the friends, and the activities. Aside from trick-or-treating this year, the big (new) activity for the kid was the Halloween Bash at Great River Bowl.

The Halloween Bash is 200 kids, 7 hours of crafts, games, and ice skating capped off with glow-bowling at the end of the day. We signed up weeks ahead of time to make sure we had a spot.The kid was going with two of her good friends. She'd go to their house in the morning and their mom would bring them to the bowling alley.

The excitement was building through out the week and the night before she was excited. Then, going to bed, she was suddenly sad. What?! The lower lip started to quiver and the tears were forming as she told me, "I don't want to be alone." Now, as a parent, I always wonder if I am doing the right things, sending the right messages, setting the right examples. However, in that moment, it was crystal clear that there's a reason that I am her mom.

On the surface you might think she was scared. She wasn't scared, she wasn't even really sad. She wasn't saying, or even implying, that she didn't want to go to the Halloween Bash. Her tears were a cry for confidence. Trust me. I know, I've been there. 

Introvert that I am, I've been there more times than I care to admit and over the years have developed my own tricks (and skills) to deal with this. And that's what we talked about. No dismissing it, because it's real; no minimizing it, because it's big; and no running from it, because that's not powerful. 

What did we do? We talked. And we planned. We were going to speak with her friends to see if they would agree to stick together for the day. If she was alone and anxious she could:

• Find another friend from school to hang with
• Find an adult to be by and maybe help with crafts
• Go to the snack table and get a snack or drink
• Read her book, draw or play with her stuffed animal friend
• Count the seconds until someone came over to meet her :)
• If she felt uncomfortable at all - call me or dad. We'd come get her.

And the ideas kept coming, less from me and more from her - and her confidence grew with each one.

No matter how much I wish at times that I was different, I am not. I am the way that I am and the reasons continue to show themselves in different ways. Be it a thank you from an unexpected source, inner strength to make (and communicate) a tough decision - compassionately, or a cry for confidence from my little girl - the reasons are there. We talked about Dad and very quickly decided that this concern wouldn't even ever cross Daddy's mind because he'd be the one running around meeting everyone else!

So, can you really capture the sum of a person or the nature of a relationship in a few words or a few interactions? No, not  really. We each are the way we are and we are a family unit because, well, that's the way it's supposed to be.

Oh yes, the Halloween Bash went off without a hitch and the kid says she's signing up again next year!