Lisa Writes

When Not To Assess Your State of Mind

2010-02-24T16:00:04Z

A mother's state of mind is not something to be assessed late in the evening (after her bedtime) when the kid is upset because she doesn't want to go to day care on her day off from school, is working on her own day off, hasn't had a conversation of more than a few sentences with her husband all weekend, and feels she really has not been a good friend.

Trust me, it won't look pretty if you do.

It will look like two working parents, after school activities, and just enough time for homework after dinner; childhood memories, parental expectations and a commitment to always be there when your daughter needs you; fast food, dinners on the fly, and setting a good example (or not); I take thee, see you tomorrow (or when the kid grows up), and love you on the go.

The thoughts swirl and spin and although she tries to pull them out of the depths and into words to share, they come out as only simple statements of fact: we need to eat better, exercise, and be home together more.

Doubt. It's a slippery slope and what is needed in these moments is a dose of reality. The kid doesn't want to go to daycare. That's the reality of it all. Nothing more, nothing less.

And enough to send this mother into a somewhat peaceful slumber.

Book Review: God's Little Princess Devotional Bible

2010-02-01T02:18:03Z

God's Little Princess Devotional Bible is a children's bible written, as you can guess, for the little princesses in your family. The characteristics focused on in this Bible storybook will help your little girl blossom into the princess she was created to be. Virtues such as compassion, sharing, and truth are highlighted in fun and engaging ways.

Bible text selections are from the International Children's Bible and are right on and relevant. From choosing between cleaning your room and playing outside to deciding what to do when you get antsy in church, every young girl will find something in here she can relate to.

My daughter is 9. She is outgrowing princess tiaras and moving into the Nintendo DSi. She says the Bible is "maybe just a little too young for me but I will still read the stories." Starting at the beginning, she enjoyed Genesis and simply was amazed when she read in "Make It Yours" that, in the beginning of time, some people lived close to 1000 years!

Offering a message delivered through stories, songs, activities, and questions this children's bible is one your child will come back to time and time again. This is a Bible I will keep in mind for gifts for other young girls in my life.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

A Message of Love

2010-01-27T12:00:29Z

I was walking through Midway airport Friday heading to a weekend with the girls, missing the family already, when it came to me that I would bring back a stuffed animal for the kid."So what?" you ask, "kids and stuffed animals are a logical pairing, what's the big deal?" It wouldn't be a big deal at all except for my declaration a year or so back that I would not spend any more money on stuffed animals.

The kid literally has hundreds of stuffed animals. From crane machine prizes to Gunds, Webkinz, Ty Beanie Babies and more, we have stuffed animals in every nook and cranny of the house. Other people can buy her stuffed animals, she can use her birthday money to buy stuffed animals and she can use her little girl charms on the Dad to get him to buy her stuffed animals, but no more stuffed animals from me.

I know she loves each and every one of her stuffed animals and they become real to her the instant she lays eyes on them, but come on, enough has got to be enough. She has too many stuffed animals already. Right?

Walking through Midway heading to a weekend with the girls, missing the family already, it came to me that I was not right. I realized that I was wrong.

You can never have too much of the things you love.

Happy Birthday Tarah

2010-01-13T07:19:04Z

The brightest angel in all the heavens was delivered swiftly to my arms 9 years ago today. Happy Birthday Tarah Marie. I Love You.

It is what it is. And now it's over.

2010-01-09T19:53:12Z

It used to make me stop and wonder "why."

It's been a while since it was upsetting for me to see a woman pregnant with her 2nd or 3rd child and it no longer even elicits a slight sad sigh. You see, after a series of miscarriages, we decided to stop trying for another child over 5 years ago.

Bottom line, I am so very thankful for what we have and simply nothing can compare with the bright, bold and joyful little girl growing up right before my very eyes. I am closing the cover on this book, officially, in black and white, for good.

To My Girls

2010-01-04T11:48:20Z

I received this from a friend. The kind of friend I would trust my daughter with, have coffee with regularly and hang out with in complete comfort - if she lived in the area. Isn't that the way it goes too often these days? If you are a girl and you are my friend, this is for you:

Dear God, the girl reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her.

Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, she will always be safe.

Love you Girl!

Thank you for your friendship.

Give Thanks

2009-11-26T15:00:21Z

Give thanks to those in your heart from near and far who share your table throughout the year.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

What are you thankful for?

H1N1 - What Would You Do?

2009-11-19T23:48:06Z

H1N1 vaccines are making their way into the broader community and the kid is scheduled for an appointment at the tail end of the clinic (on the final night actually) to receive her mist.

The clinic nurse called us earlier this week and left a message. The nurse talked about CDC guidelines and asked if we would consider voluntarily removing the kid from the clinic. If so, we would be put on a waiting list for the next round of vaccine in the community. This would enable more vaccines to be available for high risk children or those with underlying medical conditions.

My husband and I stopped, looked at each other and considered. If our daughter was high risk, we would want to be sure a vaccine was available to her or know that the health care system was doing everything they could to get her one.

We considered the length of the current clinic, the anticipated arrival of the next round of vaccines, the 10+ clinics being held at the public schools in the area this week and next. We considered the contingency plans the hospitals and clinics in town likely had in place. We considered underlying medical conditions, and the rate of H1N1 absences in the local schools. We asked, we pondered, and we considered more.

All things considered, we decided to not remove her from the clinic and she is on her way for her 6:00 vaccine appointment right now.

What would you do?

And With Each Little Step, She Grows

2009-11-01T13:34:45Z

Halloween is such a great time of year. The costumes, the fun, the friends, and the activities. Aside from trick-or-treating this year, the big (new) activity for the kid was the Halloween Bash at Great River Bowl.

The Halloween Bash is 200 kids, 7 hours of crafts, games, and ice skating capped off with glow-bowling at the end of the day. We signed up weeks ahead of time to make sure we had a spot.The kid was going with two of her good friends. She'd go to their house in the morning and their mom would bring them to the bowling alley.

The excitement was building through out the week and the night before she was excited. Then, going to bed, she was suddenly sad. What?! The lower lip started to quiver and the tears were forming as she told me, "I don't want to be alone." Now, as a parent, I always wonder if I am doing the right things, sending the right messages, setting the right examples. However, in that moment, it was crystal clear that there's a reason that I am her mom.

On the surface you might think she was scared. She wasn't scared, she wasn't even really sad. She wasn't saying, or even implying, that she didn't want to go to the Halloween Bash. Her tears were a cry for confidence. Trust me. I know, I've been there.

Introvert that I am, I've been there more times than I care to admit and over the years have developed my own tricks (and skills) to deal with this. And that's what we talked about. No dismissing it, because it's real; no minimizing it, because it's big; and no running from it, because that's not powerful.

What did we do? We talked. And we planned. We were going to speak with her friends to see if they would agree to stick together for the day. If she was alone and anxious she could:

Find another friend from school to hang with
Find an adult to be by and maybe help with crafts
Go to the snack table and get a snack or drink
Read her book, draw or play with her stuffed animal friend
Count the seconds until someone came over to meet her :)
If she felt uncomfortable at all - call me or dad. We'd come get her.

And the ideas kept coming, less from me and more from her - and her confidence grew with each one.

No matter how much I wish at times that I was different, I am not. I am the way that I am and the reasons continue to show themselves in different ways. Be it a thank you from an unexpected source, inner strength to make (and communicate) a tough decision - compassionately, or a cry for confidence from my little girl - the reasons are there. We talked about Dad and very quickly decided that this concern wouldn't even ever cross Daddy's mind because he'd be the one running around meeting everyone else!

So, can you really capture the sum of a person or the nature of a relationship in a few words or a few interactions? No, not really. We each are the way we are and we are a family unit because, well, that's the way it's supposed to be.

Oh yes, the Halloween Bash went off without a hitch and the kid says she's signing up again next year!

In Lieu of Tricks and Treats

2009-10-30T17:00:15Z

This was originally posted on November 1, 2007. I am moving my kid related posts from this website here to Raising Tarah to capture them all in one place. There will be more coming over the next few weeks so bear with me!

My daughter missed trick or treating last night. She could not go, she told her friends and anyone who would listen, because she had to go to "my show." Yes, she was having a bad day and it was my fault. I put another dollar in her counseling fund and the family loaded up in the Pilot and headed for the cities right after school. Not one door bell was pressed this year by my kid.

Before you start sympathizing with her you have to know that she went to a Halloween Party on Saturday, had a Halloween Party for 12 of her closest little friends (hay ride and piñata included) on Sunday, wore her Ariel costume to guitar lessons on Monday, brought it to gymnastics on Tuesday and had a Fall Festival at school on Wednesday.

Still pulling for the kid? Would it help if I told you "my show" was The Lion King?

The show was, in one word, SPECTACULAR! The kid was wide mouthed, giggling, and on the edge of her seat the entire show. She stopped talking at one point, looked at me and my husband and said that she "was speechless, absolutely speechless." Taking the words out of a 6 year old's mouth. . .what an accomplishment. A little caffeine and some chocolate at intermission and she stayed with it for the entire 2 hour and 48 minute show.

Still a little bit of a tug for her? Let it go. On the way home she told us that the show was way better than trick or treating!